I haven’t enjoyed a good rant lately. That ends tonight.
The day before Hurricane Irene hit, we received a letter from the City of Burlington Zoning Official/Municipal Code Enforcement folks.
Nature of Complaint: Must maintain any lands within the city from filth, brush, brush, [ their repeat] garbage, weeds, obnoxious growth [no period]
Compliance Remedy: Cut high grass/weeds in the rear yard, trim overgrown bushes. Any further grass violation will result in a summons.
This is the third or fourth time our fair city has tried this silliness with us. Yeah, there must be a new code dude in office. Here’s the kicker: we do not have a back lawn. The entire plot is a flower and herb garden. No weeds, no out of control grass. Yes, we have bushes like Rose of Sharon, lilac, trimmed trumpet vine and a stately pyracantha. Dahlias, tansy, yarrow, bee balm, phlox, false sunflowers, rose bushes, zinnias, tomatoes, basil, sage, four kinds of mint, tarragon, sage, lilies, carnations, sweet woodruff, New Jersey tea, legal white loosestrife, native bittersweet, three kinds of ferns, three kinds of ivy, six varieties of hosta, vincas, verbena, and nasturtiums round out the garden. I know what grows there. I planted my green babies.
Best of all, our yard is not visible from the street, which means either a neighbor complained or a code enforcement dude came onto our property. Entering our property is illegal. Code Enforcement is NOT the police.
I know our neighbors did not complain. The one dude is in the Army reserves and sometimes his grass is like three feet high until he can attend to it. The other neighbor doesn’t care.
I confess I let a few Virginia creeper vines get a little happy since they provide the birds berries. In my desire to comply, I cut them back and trimmed away a spindly honeysuckle vine.
The term obnoxious growth slays me. Odiously or disgustingly objectionable: highly offensive. Yeah, right. A blooming Rose of Sharon bush is so offensive. Bad bush. Stop showing those lively pink, white and purple blooms.
I can’t wait to call their office tomorrow.
#1) We don’t have grass, we have a garden
#2) You aren’t allowed on the property.
#3) Care to come back and tour the garden for free?
Wish me luck.